My Book
Your Coping Skills Aren’t Working: How to Break Free from the Habits that Once Helped You But Now Hold You Back
Now available from New Harbinger Publications.
This book is about the parts of you that learned to cope, and what happens when those old strategies stop working.
We all develop ways of protecting ourselves early in life, often in response to stress or trauma. Those coping styles once kept us safe. Later, the same patterns can quietly hold us back, and we can't quite see why.
The book is a practical guide to recognizing those patterns, understanding the younger parts of you that created them, and learning to relate to them with more clarity and choice. At its center is the practice of self-talk, the inner dialogue between the different parts of who we are.
The framework draws on schema therapy, attachment theory, and cognitive behavioral therapy. Schema therapy is itself a parts-and-modes model, which is why this work connects naturally to the Internal Family Systems and parts-based trauma therapy at the center of my practice today. Different language, same fundamental idea: we heal by understanding the parts of us carrying old burdens, rather than fighting them.
Many readers use the book alongside therapy. Others turn to it as a guide for life after therapy, a way to hold onto insight and keep changing at their own pace.
What People Are Saying…
I wrote this book at a point when schema therapy was central to how I worked. My practice has since deepened toward complex trauma, dissociation, and parts-based approaches like IFS and EMDR-informed care. The thread connecting then and now is the same question that drives all my work: how do people actually change? The endorsements below come from leaders in the schema therapy field, whose work shaped this book and my early training.
“If you are experiencing the challenges of self-defeating lifelong patterns and are looking for powerful tools to make real change, schema therapy offers that approach. And with this book, Richard will faithfully and creatively help you to cultivate healthy-adaptive coping skills that bring growth and change into your life in a meaningful, satisfying, and sustainable way.”
— Wendy Behary, LCSW.Founder and Director of the Cognitive Therapy Center of New Jersey and The Schema Therapy Institutes of New Jersey, New York City and Washington, DC., and author of Disarming the Narcissist, Surviving and Thriving with the Self-Absorbed
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“In 1994, Jeffrey Young and Janet Klosko’s book Re-inventing Your Life was a pathbreaking and profound handbook on how schemas intrude on and distort our daily lives. Now, Richard Brouillette offers an exciting successor, timely update, mirroring new developments including mindfulness, as well as an energizing journaling. Richard helps you move from feeling like a bystander to becoming the director in the ‘theater of your life.’ This is a brilliant and extremely practical book!”
—Eckhard Roediger, MD, director of the Frankfurt Schema Therapy Institute, past president of the International Society of Schema Therapy - ISST, coauthor of Contextual Schema therapy
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“Ever wondered why we repeat the same coping patterns, even when they prevent us from reaching our potential? Even with great commitment and self-determination, we often find ourselves stuck in entrenched and habitual ways of managing our lives. In this book your inner life will be revealed through powerful techniques that uproot old self-sabotaging coping patterns, paving the way for self-insight and healthier ways of coping. Written by one of the luminaries of the Schema Therapy field...Read and be inspired.”
—Susan Simpson, ClinPsyD, director of Schema Therapy Scotland, and coauthor/editor of Schema Therapy for Eating Disorders: Theory and Practice for Individual and Group Settings
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“Richard Brouillette has written an innovative, dialogue-centered book on schema therapy. Emphasizing the core importance of our internal self-talk, he teaches us how to use chairwork, imagery rescripting, and writing as ways to compassionately engage with and effectively heal our inner pain and suffering. This book will be a gift not only for those seeking to change their lives, but also for clinicians looking for more profound methods of healing.”
—Scott Kellogg, PhD, director of the Transformational Chairwork Psychotherapy Project; author of Transformational Chairwork: Using Psychotherapeutic Dialogues in Clinical Practice
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“I cannot recommend Your Coping Skills Aren’t Working highly enough. Richard Brouilette has written a smart and accessible book on how to change unhealthy patterns related to interpersonal conflicts and other life challenges that is psychologically sophisticated while still being clear, concise, and user-friendly. It reads like having a friend next to you guiding you through a process towards healthier ways of being.”
—Jeff Conway, MS, LCSW, President of the International Society of Schema Therapy (ISST) and a founding member of the ISST and The NY Center for Emotion Focused Therapy
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“Powerful therapeutic strategies are woven into a compelling, user-friendly format for personal growth. This book resonated deeply with my inner child—let it do the same for yours.”
—Kathryn Rudlin, LCSW, schema therapist, and author of Ghost Mothers
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“While the schema therapy library is rich with books for clinicians, there are few available for individuals struggling to understand the impact of schemas and modes in their daily lives. Richard Brouillette has created a wonderful meditative tool and workbook, perfect for those individuals on a path of self-discovery as well as those working in tandem with a therapist.”
—Peregrine M. Kavros, PhD, MBA, MDiv, chair, ISST Ethics & Conflict Resolution Committee, director, Schema Therapy Institute SouthEast, Advanced Schema therapist supervisor/trainer Individual & Couples